1. |
RUDDY VILE
03:35
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The wide boy’s on the right side again.
Plays it straight down the middle, never in defence or attacking.
He stands tall with his eyes on the ball, grinning.
It’s not the taking part in the game that counts – it’s winning.
Here comes Ruddy Vile.
No VAR could cramp his style.
As high as sky - can see for miles.
On top of his world looking down on you.
She’s standing in the corner waving her white flag
cause he’ll make her take the penalty if she starts playing bad.
But right now she’s dealing with his tackle, and he’s outside his box.
He dribbles, he scores, he’s so cocksure,
he knocks her into touch
He’s dirty and so cockeyed.
Goal-line technology’s his guide.
His mother’s joy, his father’s pride.
He’s on top of his game going down on you.
He is Ruddy Vile
so it might be quite a while till he faces up to his denial
and his wife and his kid, and the things that he did…
Playing the field like it is a championship.
but he’s premier league - the first to get out of his kit.
This stud is loose and much too big for his boots, and his name may be mud
but there’s always extra time when someone blows his whistle
and there’s no substitute for love.
Here comes Ruddy Vile scoring with heartless smiles.
He doesn’t use lies or alibis, he just plays away – no local ties.
He knows the score, it’s in the net,
it’s the perfect match
and it’s the best a man can get
if you’ve got the style - you’ve got the style.
And he’s got the style.
Yes he’s got the style.
But oh he’s Ruddy Vile.
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2. |
LEATHER JACKET
02:19
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There’s Tony in his leather jacket
in the corner of the room.
Nursing a half empty glass,
one half full of doom.
Cheer up Tony, you know it’s only 4 in the afternoon - no need for gloom.
There’s Tony in his leather jacket
with his back against the wall
listen to his head-racket,
wondering ‘bout it all
but cheer up Tony, it’s not so lonely when you play ball - don’t fall away
but the beer is flat - the lads are loud,
one’s company, two’s a crowd,
he doesn’t like it when it’s rowdy - wants to have his say.
There’s Tony in his leather jacket,
the hours are getting on.
Thinking he might pack it in,
time that he was gone
but come on Tony, take it slowly and have some fun…
Find yourself a karaoke song
put some money in the jukebox - sing along.
Have a game of darts or play some pool
tell a few jokes - play someone’s fool.
Pretend you’re younger and you’re free,
try a few lines see if you can be
the life and soul.
There’s Tony in his leather jacket in the corner of the room.
Where’s Tony in his leather jacket - in the corner of the room.
Where’s Tony’s leather jacket? - in the corner of the room.
Where’s Tony?
There’s Tony in his leather jacket in the corner of the room.
Tony’s in his leather jacket in the corner of the room.
There’s Tony in his leather jacket in the corner of the room.
Tony’s in his leather jacket!
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3. |
PICKLE YOUR NUTS
02:10
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Some people make jelly jam,
some folk grow their own ham.
Some like to bake their own bread,
some grow mushrooms under their bed.
Some pull weeds to make their tea,
some only drink chicory
and pull up roots gingerly
then garlic all their food but we
just pickle our nuts that’s what we do.
We can show you how to pickle yours too.
Stick with us, we’ll show you how
to pickle your nuts in half an hour.
Some like allotments, some like trains,
some like flying aeroplanes.
Some like to read, some like to cook,
some like reading cookery books.
Some like rude, some like raw,
some like surface, some like core.
Some don’t know what they do it for
but do it anyway
and we pickle our nuts that’s what we do.
We can show you how to pickle yours too.
Stick with us, we’ll show you how
to pickle your nuts in half an hour.
Everyone needs to sleep,
everyone needs to breathe.
Everyone needs everyone
and everyone will have to leave.
Everybody comes and goes,
nobody knows what they don’t know.
Everyone is I, me, mine
and we’re all waiting… meantime
we pickle our nuts that’s what we do.
We can show you how to pickle yours too.
Stick with us, we’ll show you how
to pickle your nuts in half an hour.
Some pickle onions, some do eggs,
some mix up pickles in their heads.
Some like it sour, some like sweet,
Some do salty, some do neat.
Some are veggie, others vegan,
some eat meat and some don’t even
think about what they have eaten.
Some of them don’t stop
but we
pickle our nuts that’s what we do.
We can show you how to pickle yours too.
Stick with us, we’ll show you how
to pickle your nuts in half an hour.
Pickle your nuts - that means you.
A pickled nut will see you through.
You can roast or salt or eat them fresh
but pickled nuts are the best.
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The Happy Somethings England, UK
Independently unpolished band who like to be happy. Unintentionally retro. Effortlessly uncool.
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